The Accent Arrives First
I have been told I sound like a Disney princess right up until my New York accent comes flying out and the whole illusion collapses.
When people ask where I am from, I usually tell them Texas. When they do not believe me, they get the song.
Hear the extremely convincing evidence.
The truth is less Texan and much stranger. I was born in Colombia, raised in Queens, New York, moved to San Diego to audition for Elvira's reality show The Search for the Next Elvira, and eventually landed in Portland.
The audition took place aboard the Queen Mary, which is famously haunted. Moving across the country for an Elvira audition on a haunted ship still feels like one of the most accurate summaries of my life.
The Day Job
For more than 20 years, I have worked in technical support, customer support, web technology, and the general digital wilderness. I like fixing broken things, explaining complicated problems clearly, and discovering which tiny invisible setting caused the entire machine to lose its mind.
I work in enterprise support, helping people navigate websites, tools, updates, browser oddities, mystery bugs, and the timeless support classic: "It was working five minutes ago."
I have received various awards and recognition for my work, performance, support, and problem-solving.
I have served on autonomy committees and contributed ideas about how teams work, communicate, and improve.
I have built a reputation for digging through chaos, keeping people calm, and getting the thing working again.
Places That Built Me
Outside the Office
Outside of work, things get louder, stranger, and considerably more fun. I am a guitarist, horror dork, metal lifer, cartoon doodler, true crime writer, convention nerd, Linux tinkerer, web builder, performer, and semi-retired fire eater.
I wanted to perform from the time I was seven years old, after seeing my first episode of Tales from the Crypt, Dig That Cat... He's Real Gone. Something about that mix of horror, spectacle, camp, and theatrical weirdness lodged itself directly in my brain and never left.
Eventually I became a guitarist who played onstage with burlesque performers, which led me further into performance, stage work, and the kind of creative chaos I have always loved most. From there I ended up as a fire eater, performer, and occasional circus barker, which feels like a very natural progression if your life is built out of horror movies, loud music, and bad ideas with excellent lighting.
Fire eating, for the record, is not a thing to casually pick up because it sounds cool after two drinks and a YouTube video. It takes training, control, practice, and a healthy respect for the fact that fire is not kidding around. I am a trained professional. Please do not try this at home. Seriously. Do not try it at home, at a friend's house, at your neighbor's house, or anywhere else that might end with someone shouting, "Why is there a person breathing kerosene in my living room?"
I played CBGB while underage, performed in an all-girl Slayer cover band, moved across the country for an Elvira audition, and collected enough bizarre stories to fill several highly questionable notebooks.
Horror, metal, cartoons, and stage chaos are probably the cleanest summary of my brain. Give me practical effects, filthy riffs, weird little drawings, and a room full of people having a great time, and I am pretty much home.
Personal Departments
Broadcasts, Links and Current Noise
A little transmission log for whatever is currently rattling around in my speakers, rotting my brain, or making the internet worth visiting.
The Current Situation
Still troubleshooting. Still collecting horror trivia. Still playing loud guitars. Still making strange little cartoons. Still answering to several cats who have rejected every known management strategy.